Julie Sando’s grand plans to become a graphic designer took an unexpected detour more than a decade ago, when she began working with Trent, a 4-year-old boy with autism. A part-time job turned into a life-long passion. After Julie spent the next two years training in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), a family she knew sought another path in a course of treatment called The Son-Rise Program®, offered by the Autism Treatment Center of America. Julie kept an open mind, and the profound results she saw there made her a believer. Within a few years she completed their training as a Child Facilitator and Teacher. Today, through her own company, she empowers parents to reach their autistic children in ways that once seemed unimaginable.
Julie and Trent (now a teenager) today
I have read The Go-Giver book three times. One of those times I read one law a night along with my two best friends. Each day we put that law into practice.
I had recently started my own company, Autistically Inclined. Through my company, I get to work with families who have children with autism.
When it came time to practice The Law of Compensation, I decided to write a note on Facebook to all the families I have connected with through my company, sharing some free advice for common challenges that come up. This was my way of reaching as many people as possible at once.
In my post, I wrote about how many kids on the autism spectrum can be overly controlling, and how we can help them become more flexible by being the most predictable people we can be around them, thereby giving them a sense of more control.
At the end of my post, I wrote:
“I would love to hear stories of how this impacted you, your child, and your team. Tell us one example of what you tried and how your child responded. And feel free to post any questions if anything feels unclear. You have a whole team of people here to support you!”
I was amazed to see the response: within the first six hours, people posted 25 comments. That’s pretty good for having had my business up and running for only 5 months!
It sparked a lot of interest in the book as well. These families run their own businesses as they have a team of therapists working with their kids day in and day out.
Reading The Go-Giver and putting it into practice has changed my path in a huge and exciting way, and I share it with as many people as I can!
Julie Sando, Founder, Autistically Inclined
Julie with Griffin
Julie with Eric and David
I am one of the 25 comments to Julie’s Facebook note and one of the parents she mentions – and a reader of The Go-Giver. Here is the comment I posted:
My favorite law for how it pertains to a Son-Rise team is the Law of Authenticity. What value can I add when I go into the playroom? What value can anyone add – YOU, ME, US!! Everyone can bring in a theme, everyone can do the techniques just right, everyone can love him and accept him, but I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN BRING IN ME!!!
I can’t wait to share this with our team, especially our three newbies who start next week!! Thanks, Julie.
Way to go Julie! Great photos and a wonderful summary of what you do. Congratulations.
Julie suggested this book to me and I loved it. I’m going back and reading it again after Laura’s comment… and getting my team to read it too.
I was another one of those who posted on Julie’s note on Facebook. The timing of her post could not have been more perfect for what we were up to and dealing with in our program.
Thank you Julie for sharing yourself so fully with us. We love you and we keep passing on your gifts!
Found it on Google. Nice. I’ll come back to visit.
Please, your advice. I work as a volunteer for Peniel’s Parent in Nigeria. Three weeks after joining them, I discovered that the boy’s eye contact had increased. But recently we took him to his former school during their playing time (sports) to see if he could still remember some of his friends. And he did play with two of them, for 5 minutes, each of them playing with balls.
When he was with them, they would score and shout, “GOAL!” together. Since then, while at home playing in the room, he has been saying, “GOAL!” repeatedly, without actually touching a ball. But we made a pole for him, and labeled it “Goal,” and when he says it, I kick the ball and say, “GOAL!”
Is there any other method to use, apart from what I’ve described above? Thanks!
— Patrick
Great article. I’ve enyjeod this contribution. Its nice to see every questions answered in a blog post like this. I will add this post on my blog and link to it. Thanks for a clear informative post, I’ve learned a lot. I hope to see videos though as I can be A.D.D and reading articles is not my favorite thing to do online. So what I do sometimes is just print the whole thing and read offline.
Hi Patrick!
Thank you so much for posting your question. I love hearing stories from the playroom and it is extra special to be hearing what is happening in Nigeria.
I have to say, I absolutely LOVE the way you have responded when he says “GOAL” in the playroom. It is brilliant because you are making his language powerful by placing an action to his words. For a child who has difficulties with language or communication it is important to show them this power. You are also showing him how great it is to use language with other people by making your response fun.
One thing to add (if you aren’t already) is CELEBRATING him genuinely for using his language to tell you what he wants. This will most likely also encourage him to keep on using language. Even if he is saying it over and over, remind yourself how great it is that he is passionate about something and wanting to share it with you.
Another way to mix things up is to expand the game (and his language) into different types of goals. You could create a basketball goal, a soccer goal, and a football goal. When he says “GOAL” you could celebrate him and explain that you aren’t sure what kind of goal he wants. Model your actions by shooting each goal and telling him the names. Then ask him which kind of goal he wants. If he is motivated, you can expand the game by inviting him to participate (e.g. keeping score, taking turns kicking the ball, getting the ball for you to make a basket, etc.). There are so many ways to expand upon this one word.
The most important thing is that you are having fun. Do whatever it takes to make sure you are having a blast and that will be more inviting for him to really want to engage with you.
Keep me posted on how things are going.
Take care,
Julie
Thank you Bob Burg, John David Mann, and of course Amazing Julie Sando for sharing your powerful work with the world!
I am thrilled to say that I was one of Julie’s friends who did “The Go-Giver” experiment she mentioned – we all read one section a day together and implemented that specific Go-Givin’ law that day. Wow, The Go-Giver did rock my world!
After reading about the Laws of Compensation and Influence, I was clear that it was time to share the work I do in a larger and more giving way.
As a Yoga Educator, my clients just want to relax, and feel healthier, so I wondered, how could I make it even easier for them to do so? What would be easier than coming to a class?
Many of my clients are busy or travel a lot, so I created a website with free short yoga experiences people can try in just a few minutes, based on my regular clients’ requests. In just a few months over 5,000 people in over 34 countries have watched the videos! Now other health educators are getting involved to help people around the globe with other types of inspiring videos. (www.everybodythrive.com).
I recommend The Go-Giver to everyone! It is such a light, fun read, with deep and profound impact, should you take a day to try it out!
Thank you again for sharing your insight with the world, I am overjoyed to see the positive impact of your work continue to grow!
Big Gratitude,
Karlee
Hi Julie,
I saw your law of acceptance and i want to try it out with my son Peniel.
He loves playing a lot, jumping, matching, clapping, he likes someone doing it with him all the time. How do I sit on CONER doing my own thing when he wants to drag me to do his own? How do I make him talk clearly with the law of acceptance because he talks though I don’t understand him.
Thanks Julie, I always love your ideas.
Hi Chinyere!
It’s great to see you on here! You are referencing a note I wrote on Facebook about deepening our acceptance of our children with autism:
https://www.facebook.com/juliesando?v=app_2347471856#!/notes/julie-sando/acceptance-for-my-son-rise-families/73515373590
The point I was originally making with the boy I worked with was to make myself as predictable as I could. In your case, with Peniel, you could try it a little differently. You could explain to him that you want to do exactly what he wants you to do and that you are going to do your best to figure out what he wants.
Stand completely still (being predictable), and respond to his actions. When he uses unclear language, try standing still again, in a ready-position, and explain you really want to help and you love his words, but you aren’t sure exactly what he wants. Tell him he can show you (or whichever way he lets you know he wants you to jump/match/clap with him) and you will respond super quick! (I know you have mentioned in the past that he does not want to be celebrated so feel free to omit that part for Peniel.)
The point I ended up making turned out being more for myself than for the boy I was working with: THE KEY TO ACCEPTANCE IS TO BE AWARE OF HOW MUCH YOU ARE WANTING SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING. Every time you catch a thought like “I wish he would use clearer language” or “I really want this game to keep going” or “I should really encourage him to use the bathroom” – be aware that this is WHAT WE WANT…not necessarily what he wants.
Once you are aware of those thoughts, practice letting them go, and loving what Peniel is currently doing, without wanting it to be any different than it is. This is a time to let go of all requests. It is a time to let go of trying to “make him talk,” etc.
That is acceptance. It is also completely ok to want to help him learn things, like how to talk. I have played with the balance between acceptance and wanting, and now when I request, I am very clear that this is what I want…it is all for me. I love to experiment with the extremes and find the balance. So one session, I may make no requests and practice acceptance on a deeper level. And another session, I may request 150%, more than I typically would, and I’d be completely aware that I am requesting because it is what I want for my relationship with this child. The next session, my intention is to create the balance between the two!
HAVE FUN!!!
I am so glad you wrote Chi Chi!
Lots of love to you!
Julie Sando
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Julie suggested this book to me and I loved it. I’m going back and reading it again after Laura’s comment… and getting my team to read it too. I was another one of those who posted on Julie’s note on Facebook. The timing of her post could not have been more perfect for what we were up to and dealing with in our program. Thank you Julie for sharing yourself so fully with us. We love you and we keep passing on your gifts!
By far the best and fondest momery of Sharon Elizabeth Walton was her standing on the dock with a captivating gleam in her eyes, accompanied with her benevolent smile as William returned home from one of his voyages. The pride and happiness written on her face for his safe return can not be described with words. With great anticipation she tolerantly waited for William’s unembellished account of his adventure as he carefully stowed the boat. This same picture comes to mine, when the time is right, Sharon will be standing at Heavens Gate with that same captivating gleam in her eyes, accompanied with that lovely signature smile of hers, awaiting his safe arrival.
Way to go Julie! Great photos and a wonderful summary of what you do. Congratulations.
I am so grateful to have had the chance to get to know Julie! I came to know Julie because of her kindness when she replied to a plea for help on a special diet issue with my daughter who is autistic that I posted on my facebook wall. She called me on the phone and helped me with several issues. Julie is a very special person – she is so loving and authentic and compassionate. I saw her facebook message recommending to read The Go-Giver and if Julie suggests it, you know it’s gonna be a good read. The Go-Giver is an awesome read! Thank you again Julie for yet another act of kindness 🙂
Love Ya! jamie