The Go-Giver Marriage
A Little Story About the 5 Secrets to Lasting Love
John David Mann and Ana Gabriel Mann, MA
“To say love is what makes a marriage work is like saying it takes oxygen to climb a mountain. Yes, oxygen is necessary. But not sufficient.”
A position has opened up at the top of the multinational giant Rachel’s Famous Coffee, and Tom desperately wants the job. To gain the position, he must first go through a series of interviews with the company’s top executives, including its eccentric CFO, Jeremiah.
Tom’s wife, Tess, is facing her own challenges. The couple first met on the job, where Tess was a rising star—until her career was put on hold by the birth of a son with special needs. The trauma and heartbreak of the past six years has put tremendous stress on their marriage. Now, Tess has learned that her best friend Amy is getting a divorce. Could she and Tom be drifting in the same direction? The thought leaves her stomach in knots.
But Tom and Tess are about to have a transformational day. Over the next few hours, they will each learn from a wise cast of characters (including some surprise guests from previous Go-Giver stories) about five powerful secrets to building a love that lasts.
For more than a decade, readers of The Go-Giver have been asking for a book on how to apply the philosophy at the heart of The Go-Giver to their personal relationships. From Go-Giver coauthor John David Mann and Ana Gabriel Mann, a clinically trained therapist, this long-awaited sequel shows you how to unlock a deeply satisfying, abundant relationship based on simple, everyday acts of generosity.
The Go-Giver Marriage is divided into two parts: (1) The Parable, and (2) The Practice. Part 1, The Parable, tells the story of Tom and Tess, who through the course of a day learn all about the 5 Secrets to Lasting Love — which are modeled on the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success from the original Go-Giver. Part 2, The Practice, is a full-length guidebook that walks you through each of the 5 Secrets: why it works, what it looks like in everyday life, and how to practice it in your relationship. Finally, as with all Go-Giver books, there’s a Discussion Guide and Q&A with the Authors at the back of the book.
About John & Ana
JOHN DAVID MANN is coauthor of more than thirty books, including four New York Times bestsellers and five national bestsellers, including The Go-Giver (coauthored with Bob Burg), which has sold over 1 million copies and won the 2017 Living Now Book Awards Evergreen Medal for its “contributions to positive global change.” He is married to Ana Gabriel Mann and considers himself the luckiest mann in the world.
ANA GABRIEL MANN, M.A., holds a Master’s degree in clinical psychology and dance-movement therapy from Antioch New England, where she specialized in working with adults and family therapy. In addition to her work in family therapy and 5 Secrets marriage coaching, she has served as clinical director for a support program for families caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease, co-founded New England’s first college of Chinese medicine, and worked as a corporate consultant, speaker, trainer, and business coach. She is the creator and lead facilitator of the Go-Giver Marriage Coaches training program.
John and Ana have been dreaming about cowriting The Go-Giver Marriage and bringing its message to the world ever since the first draft of John and Bob’s original book came sliding out of his desktop printer in early 2005.
The Go-Giver Marriage Reviews
Excerpt from The Go-Giver Marriage
from Part I: The Parable
. . . For the first time since their interview began, Jeremiah unfolded his long legs and rose to his feet. In his vest and shirtsleeves, slim tailored pants, and classic two-tone wingtips, he struck Tom as a figure from another era. Silently, he stalked along the far side of the office until he stopped at one particular photo on the adjacent wall.
This one was different from the others: a long shot of a snowcapped mountain, a tiny group of climbers huddled on its summit.
Jeremiah gazed at the photo, then turned again to Tom.
“To say love is what makes a marriage work is like saying it takes oxygen to climb a mountain. Yes, oxygen is necessary. But not sufficient.”
Tom stared at the man. All he could think of was what that VP had said. A touch of the eccentric.
“They say ‘love conquers all,’” Jeremiah continued, “but this cannot be true. There is too much evidence to the contrary. Look around you. You see people who end up hurting the ones they love. Who, in one way or another, love each other unhappily. Whose love turns to contempt or, worse, indifference.
“Whose love doesn’t last.
“No, Tom, simply being in love cannot itself be the secret to a lasting, happy marriage.”
Tom gave the only reply he could come up with. “Then what is?”
“Giving,” said Jeremiah at once.
“Giving?”
“Giving.”
How had this interview turned so weird so fast?
“Um . . . giving what?”
“Giving gifts, Tom,” said Jeremiah, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He turned back to gaze again at the mountaintop photo. “I don’t mean trinkets or toys,” he added. “I mean genuine gifts.”
Tom’s mind raced.
Exactly what test or interview tactic was happening here?
And then, with one question, Jeremiah sent Tom’s thoughts hurtling off a cliff of confusion.
“Tell me, Tom,” the owl-man said. “What is the purpose of marriage?”
from Part II: The Practice
You’ve probably heard the expression “Practice makes perfect.” We don’t think this is true. Becoming perfect would mean there’d be no more room to improve and grow. In our experience, practice does not make you perfect—but it does make you better.
This is true for anything you do. It’s true for dancing, painting, carpentry, and baseball. For teaching, parenting, and coaching. It’s true for the practice of prayer and the practice of meditation.
And it’s true for lasting love.
It might not seem like love should be something you practice at—yet it is. Love can be a bolt from the blue, something that wallops you at first sight (as it did for Tom and Tess), or it can blossom over time from a friendship. But whatever form love takes, love that endures—lasting love—is a practice.
This practice does not make your love perfect, but it does make your love better: deeper, richer, more satisfying, more uplifting. It strengthens your bond, fortifies your capacity to hold each other up and be each other’s safe harbor in good times and bad.
And it is, absolutely, a practice.
Meaningful change doesn’t happen “someday.” It happens today, right now. To bring these secrets to life as an active, positive force in your relationship, make them something you do, consciously and intentionally.
Keep it simple. Lasting love is like good health: more than any grand gestures or big, dramatic life changes, it’s built out of the little things you do every day.
Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference—especially when you do them consistently. . .
